My Life Would Suck Without You

I know this may be a little cheesy and embarrassing for me and perhaps the people mentioned, but I just was thinking about this past semester and really wanted to say some things that I don't really have the guts to say to their/your face(s). This is either because I would cry through the whole thing, or that I know my words would get all mixed up and they wouldn't understand what I was trying to say in the first place. I feel like I'm better at writing than talking. Also, this is going to be REALLY long and if you want to skip around or not read it at all, that’s fine. You are your own person and no one is making you read this. I'm going to write it directly to the people who came to my mind when I was thinking about this, make it more personal, na what I mean?

I was thinking about this semester. It has been the hardest semester of my life thus far. I have had more responsibility than I have ever had before, I have had such a hard time with my classes, and things have just been pretty crazy all around. This blog post is dedicated to all the people and/or things in my life that have helped me through this semester. Anyone and anything listed below has kept me from giving up on my life and gotten me to keep going and smile when everything went to crap.

1. My Family. I'll start with my mom and dad.

Mom, we are so tight. Thanks for calling me every week just to check up on how I’m doing and to talk. I don’t even care that I don’t have any sisters because I would have to share you with them and I’m a pretty selfish person when it comes to my mama. I really love you and you always keep me looking for the positive and moving forward. Remember how you always sing that song to me, ya know… “ooo child, things are gonna get easier”? Well, I heard it for the first time in Michael’s craft store a few weeks ago and I almost started crying. I think it’s an omen, a really really good omen. Thanks for know what’s important to me, like when the “Easter Bunny” brought me earth friendly plates and bowls. For some reason I feel like recycling and being Earth friendly is my personal responsibility, and its cool that you keep those kinds of things in mind all the time.

Dad, my main man. Remember when I was like, two and when I would cry you were the only one who could make the world right again? Well, I still feel that way. Talk about a guy who can put things in perspective. You snap me back to reality when I blow things way out of proportion. You have always been an amazing provider for our family. Thanks for sacrificing for the family and for always being someone I can turn to. You work hard for us, and the things you do bring our family closer together. We have had a lot of awesome memories that we would have never had if it weren’t for you. You’re such a cool Dad and all my friends love being around you because you’re funny and they feel comfortable and liked. I think you have that affect on a lot of people.

Jake! THANK YOU for never making me feel like an idiot. Ever. Even if you have no idea what the heck I’m talking about, you smile and laugh and don’t ever make me feel inferior. I know I’m way weird, but you make me feel…funny weird instead of just plain weird. Got it? Anyway, you’re a great brother and I love that we can talk about goofy stuff or really serious stuff without a problem. I appreciate your quick wit and love ya for it. Thanks for complimenting me on my clothes. Ha ha ha. I like your style, and when you like mine…I know I got it going on.

Becca…. I think from here on out I’m just going to erase “in law” from my memory, because your pretty much my blood sister. I love hanging out with you. I can be crazy and weird and you rise to the occasion every time. Thanks for always including me in your themed parties, even if I do come without a date. You are so thoughtful and fun to be around. I hope all the other boys find girls as cool as you! BFF, just sayin. I love you because you care about me and what is going on in my life and I think that’s pretty flippin awesome. You are an awesome mom to your daughter, and I hope I be as good of a mom as you are to Lyndi. You lead by example, and I am defiantly trying to follow.

Lyndi. I know you can’t read this, but I have to say you’re a real life saver for me. Whenever I’m the most sad, I can call you or look at the “special prizes” you gave me and it always cheers me up. I still have Quwak Daddy, my chipmunk food, and your Valentines day magnet you made for me. I love you so much and you are my very best friend. You love me no matter what, and I love you no matter what too. You make me laugh and make me want to be a much better person.

John. Your in Taiwan and probably won’t read this ever, but you’re the bomb. I’m always bragging about you. You have always been there for me and can pin point what and why I feel a certain way better than even I can. You always give me the “everything is going to be okay” vibe in your letters and keeps me going another week. You’re a champ, and I can’t wait till you come back and we can hang out together non-stop. I can de-nerdify you after your mission, so don’t even worry about not being as cool post mission.

Mikey. Honestly your one of my best friends. You make me feel way cooler than I really am. I love it when we hang out, I always have fun and I laugh the entire time. I really like that you love Free Willy as much as I do. Whenever I come home from USU, I don’t have to think about anything else but having fun with my lil bro. I can talk about you non stop because I think you’re the coolest kid on the block. I’m so glad you’re my brother and that we are such good friends. Thanks for being just as puzzled as I am about why I’m not the hottest item at USU and for saying “what matters” when I make some lame comment about being fat or weird. I wish we could have been this tight our whole lives, but I was a little brat so my bad. Love you bud.

Isaac, your SO awesome. I miss you up at college. You are always so excited to see me and make me feel like I’m important. I am way jealous of your cool karate moves. Someday you’re going to be able to beat up mike, so keep it up. You are always so happy and you bring other people up. You are very aware of how others feel and you always try to cheer me up when I’m sad and I love you for it.

2. My Roomies and Friends!
Ashers. Best Friends for Freaking Ever. You are the exact definition of a true friend. You have always been there to pick up my slack, and I’m sorry you have had to do that. I love you so much and I know I would not have survived this semester without you. You always have my back, and I hope you know I always got yours. I owe you big time for all the help you gave me with Sandra. You can tell when I’m at a breaking point and take over for a while so I can deal with it and get back to the routine. I love that we can communicate off of facial expression alone. It means a lot to me to have friends like you and there aren’t a lot of “yous” out there. Your gem, just saying.Lynsie and Jimyl. It seems wrong to separate you two into paragraphs, so you guys are doubling up. Don’t worry, it will be extra long. You two make me feel like the funniest person on this planet. Thanks for being my personal image consultants this year J! I’m glad that we have become such good friends this year. Lynsie, I love laughing and chatting with you! Your such a fun girl. Believe it or not, but I got a little more backbone because of you. You pointed out some stuff in my life that I shouldn’t be putting up with and made me realize I don’t have to be a pushover to be liked. Jimyl, ha ha ha ha ha! I think I found the one person on this planet who thinks farting is as funny as I think it is. I have had so much fun joking around with you! I still can’t tell if your being serious sometimes and it frightens me a little. You are both so beautiful and fun, I am afraid I’m not going to get so lucky on the roommate situation next semester, but a girl can dream right? You girls got yourself a cozy lil spot in my heart, and I will remember our pow-wows in the wee hours of the morning fondly! Thanks for putting up with my mess this semester. You guys are awesome

Sandra, there is so much to say. First of all, I have to apologize. I am sorry that I probably wasn’t the best at taking care of you. When they first asked if anyone would be willing to help you out, I knew immediately that it was something I needed to do. When you told me about how things just fell into place when you decided to come up here, I knew even more that this job was meant for me. I have to admit, was a pretty tough thing for me, and I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you coming back up to college. I had a really hard time adjusting and getting used to thinking about someone else’s needs other than my own like I typically did. For a long time, I prayed and prayed for God to show me how this was helping me. I felt like I was going down hill instead of me progressing and I doubted the feeling I had when I first volunteered to help you out. It wasn’t till a few weeks ago that I realized exactly what taking care of you has done for me. You have helped me realized how flawed I am. I don’t mean that in a bad way at all. You humbled me. I thought I was doing great, and God had to show me how weak I really am by letting me know you. He had to show me what I need to work on, and I’m sorry you had to be the one to suffer through that process. Please forgive me for the days when I was a real putz. I’m just a really really dumb 18 year old girl and I have a lot of things to work on. Thanks for toughing me out and smiling at me when I know you would have like to punch me in the face some days…okay maybe most days. Truth is I love ya, and I’m trying to be better because I know you. Thanks girl, I’ll never forget you and we are for sure going to keep in touch.

Jake. Where to start? Ha ha ha, naw I’m just playin. Thanks for the laughs, that’s where I’m startin. You crack me up 99% of the time, and the other 1% is because we had to be serious some of the time. You helped me laugh about my bad day, experiences, ect… instead of cry and whine about them. You have been one of my best friends at USU, and you me and Ashley have had some serious good times this year. Thanks for letting me be myself and not caring too much about how weird I can be. I know I probably got on your nerves more than once or twice, but thanks for letting me hang out with you pretty much every day. You’re a friend that makes me want to be better and try harder. Anatomy was killer, huh? But, were still alive and thriving, though it has been hard surviving, but the end is arriving. I just laid down a rap for you, so feel special about it. Capri Sun forever, just saying.

Luke and Shane. Doesn’t feel right to separate you guys either. First of all, wingapo. Sorry I don't have a picture with you two, but I will get one before we move out. I know I didn’t know you guys for very long, but I just gotta say thanks for treating me like a champ. Shane, thanks for acting genuinely interested in all the nyrmmp (I have never used this word before, but I thought you would like it…your welcome) I had to say, even though it probably didn’t make sense and may have creeped you out at times. Remember that one day when you said I looked like I had a glow or something? Well, that made my week, just sayin so thanks. Luke, I felt cool when you gave me props for my lack of scootering skills. Thanks for saying hi and not making me feel like an idiot when I absolutely was one. You’re a funny kid, and I’m way glad you love flarp about as much as me and Jimyl. I’m glad Lyns and Jimyl are your ladies and they didn’t go for a couple of jerks who never wanted to hang out with me You guys rock!

3. Non-human category

Lil Mama. Two words…stress relief. I know our average has been down the last few months, but were going to get through this and get back up to the times when we could get above 120 consistently. You have left calices on my fingers, but it’s all good and I love you the same. My love for bowling will never die, and you’re going to see some good years ahead of you.

The Beatles. Thanks for making great music. There was many a time when I reached a breaking point and it calmed me down to listen to Hey Jude or Across the Universe. All You Need is Love is for sure going to be my wedding song, I hope you feel honored, even though some of you are dead and the living ones won’t ever read this.

God. God is a god, so He counts as non-human. God has always always had my back. He loves me, despite my countless flaws and shortcomings. He is understanding and forgiving. Sometimes I feel like he made me clumsy and such so I could learn to laugh at myself and I appreciate that. I know that God is going to love me even though he knows all the mistakes I’m going to make. He makes me work harder and be better every day. He has been there to listen to me and answered my prayers. I know he is there and is looking out for me. I trust him more than anyone and I know I wouldn’t have been able to survive this school year without his help.

Well, that’s about all I can think of right now. Of course, there are tons of other people who have been a big part of my life, but this is already really long so I better wrap it up. It’s been a great year and I love you all so much for everything you have done for me. I would like to raise a Capri Sun to all of the above mentioned, here’s to you.